6 steps to overcoming anxiety
The more you rely on your anxiety action plan the more confident you will become in being able to cope with anxiety.
My 5 year old son wants to save the polar bears.
He wrote out a three-point “Action Plan” as we call it. He’s also working on a separate plan involving a cold fusion sun that’ll be placed near the North Pole to help cool it down. The details are still being fleshed out.
“Dad,” he said to me the other day, “let’s put our plan…into action!” Emphasis on the pause, the kid really knows how to sell it.
I share this anecdote because it shows a glimpse of our family dynamic. We have plans for everything. The first thing my son says to me each morning is “What’s the plan for today?”
As a stay-at-home parent, having plans and routines helps to get me through the day. This is especially true when anxiety rears its ugly head.
When the funk sets in
I don’t have a history of mental illness or depression. But like a lot of people, there are days I wake up in a funk. Funk is my broad definition that includes anxiety, worry, fear, and doubt.
You know it when you feel it, and some days I feel it.
About two years ago, after I had recently left my full-time job and tried desperately to build a client-based web development business, I felt these funk days most of my days.
After a string of bad client experiences and a general lack of success, funk was my new normal. It got to the point where for the majority of 2019 I couldn’t do anything other than coast my way through the months.
And then it hit me, I don’t have to feel this way.
My anxiety action plan was born.
What is an anxiety action plan?
Like my son’s polar bear example, an action plan is a simple series of steps one takes to achieve an outcome.
In an anxiety action plan, the outcome we are hoping for is anxiety that is mitigated, or at the very least, managed.
In other words, when you feel the funk setting in, what steps will you take to overcome it?
Now, it’s important to realize two things:
- You aren’t broken, nor do you need to be fixed when you feel anxious. Anxiety is our body’s natural reaction to stress and unfamiliar stimuli. Evolutionarily speaking, we needed anxiety to keep us away from dangerous situations. Anxiety is a natural feeling.
- Chronic forms of anxiety such as compulsive disorders or phobias should be addressed by mental health professionals. Please seek help if you need it.
Learning to cope with anxiety begins with awareness. Knowing how your behaviors change because of anxiety is key. For me, if I snap at my kids or if I feel mentally exhausted, I’m most likely in a funk. When I become aware of this funk I can put my plan…into action!
My 6-point anxiety action plan
It’s tempting at times to write off an anxious day. However, I find that when I tackle the funk head-on and eventually overcome it, I gain more confidence in myself and come out feeling even better than before.
I’ve developed a 6-point action plan that has worked for me over the past few months any time the funk sets in.
1. Nourishment and hydration
The first thing I do when I feel the funk is to make sure I am fed and watered.
Steer clear of junk foods and snacks that are high in sugar and unhealthy fats and instead aim for foods that’ll nourish your body. The Harvard Health Blog recommends the following foods when feeling anxious:
- Foods rich in Magnesium such as leafy greens, nuts, and seeds.
- Omega-3 fatty acid found in fatty fish
- Foods rich in B vitamins, such as avocado and almonds
- Antioxidants (fruits, berries, nuts)
Also, stay hydrated by drinking a lot of water and avoiding alcohol and coffee.
2. Pause
After fueling up, pause. Remind yourself that there is nothing to fix. Don’t attempt to figure out what is causing the anxiety, simply go with it.
As a stay-at-home parent, this step is difficult at times with the kids hounding me for attention. But all I need are a few quiet moments which I can find if I go to another room or use the “Daddy has to go to the bathroom so play in your room nicely” excuse.
Whether you’re a parent or are at work or in a public space, take a beat. Breathe. You got this.
3. Put your phone away
It’s tempting to pull out your phone and scroll away looking for those hits of dopamine, but this only serves as a distraction and not as a coping method.
Putting your phone away, and I mean away in another room, has been proven to increase your brain’s cognitive functions.
Instead of my phone, I will take out my Kindle or a book and begin reading to relax my body and my mind. When you read, a lot of stimuli are fired up in your brain. There is even some evidence that reading alters your brain tissue, increasing the volume of white matter in the language area of the brain.
I’m no scientist, but I do know reading offers a healthier distraction than my phone.
4. Practice gratitude
I used to think writing down things you are grateful for was a weird practice. Now I do it almost every day. When I feel the funk setting in, I make an effort to sit down, grab a pen and my notebook and just start writing about all the things in my life that bring me joy and happiness.
I never run out of things to be grateful for. I think about the people in my life. I think about the opportunities I have. I think retrospectively and I think about what is to come.
Practicing gratitude looks different for everyone. You can pray or meditate, journal, write thank-you notes, or even sit and think. Whatever it is, practicing gratitude is linked to your overall sense of well-being and positively contributes to your physical, social, and phycological side of your life.
Even at a low point, find a moment to be grateful.
5. Talk with a friend or family member
Remind yourself that you aren’t alone. There are people in your life that care about you. Send a text. Call your parents. Reach out to those friends who are gracious enough to let you vent.
Reaffirm the important relationships in your life.
For me, I might text my wife at work or check in on my parents or sister. Although I’m not the best at keeping in touch with those I love, I try. Fostering those connections and simply knowing that they are there is enough for me.
Humans need each other. Don’t be afraid to include others in your action plan.
6. Exercise
This is my sure-fire way of overcoming anxiety. I put on my workout clothes and lift heavy things for 30 to 40 minutes. After a hot shower, shave, and proper skincare routine, I feel like a new man.
Time and time again, exercise has shown to be one of the best ways to prevent and treat anxiety. Why? The Harvard Health Blog explains:
- Exercise gives you something else to think about
- Exercise decreases your muscle tension
- An elevated heart rate increases important neurochemicals in the brain
- Exercise activates the front part of the brain which in turn processes “real or imagined threats”
Anecdotally speaking, I have never once worked out while feeling anxious and still felt anxious after. The act of getting my heart rate up resets my brain.
However, for some people, the thought of exercising is anxiety-inducing, especially if it’s not a consistent part of your weekly routine. If you are one of these people, keep it simple.
- Go for a brisk walk
- Find a yoga session on YouTube and follow along
- Do push ups, crunches, and pull ups
The goal here is to minimize the barriers between you doing nothing and you moving your body. Keep a pair of work out clothes easily accessible in your closet. Have a few workout videos bookmarked in your browser.
Anxiety is a physical reaction, offset it with physical action.
Put your action plan in place
Your action plan may look different than mine. My wife likes to nap when she feels anxious. You might find bird watching helps.
Whatever it is, write your plan down. Review it. When you feel the funk setting it, put it…into action!
The more you rely on your anxiety action plan the more confident you will become in being able to cope with anxiety.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some polar bears to save.
